Put Your Finest Dining Skills and Table Manners on Display!
The upcoming holidays are a time for celebration, and most of these celebrations include dining with friends, family and colleagues. Whether you are hosting a dinner party in your home, or are a guest in another person’s home, your table manners and dining skills will be on display. Not knowing your way around a dinner table can be embarrassing, making not only you uncomfortable and ill at ease, but also those with whom you are dining. When you know how to conduct yourself at the dining table, you will be able to enjoy yourself and the company of your dinner companions; and, they, in turn, will be able to enjoy your company. So don’t let such as easy thing to learn keep you from you from enjoying yourself and making a positive impression at your holiday gatherings.
Whether your role is that of a gracious host or grateful guest, your job is to help the dinner party proceed as smoothly as possible. Following are The Etiquette School of New York’s guidelines for hosting and attending holiday dinner parties:
SETTING THE TABLE
DINING UTENSILS
Place Plate Water Glass
Dinner Plate Wine/Beverage Glass
Salad Plate Dessert Spoon
Bread & Butter Plate Butter Knife
Salad Fork Salad Knife
Dinner Fork Dinner Knife
Dessert Fork Dinner Napkins
POSITIONING OF A PLACE SETTING FOR DINNER
1. Place Plate (Charger): The place plate is placed one inch from the edge of the table.
If the first course is already on the place plate, the napkin is placed to the
left of the forks; otherwise, the napkin will be on the plate.
2. Forks/Flatware: Handles of the flatware are aligned at the bottom. The forks
(no more than three) are at the left of the place plate, placed in order of use,
working from the outside in. The oyster fork is the only fork on the right side
with the knives, tines of the fork placed upward, across the soup spoon or
parallel with the knives.
3. Knives: Knives, no more than three, are at the right of the place plate in order
of use, from the outside in, with the cutting edge toward the plate. The only spoon
(for a first course) is placed to the right of the knives.
4. Dessert Silverware: The dessert fork and spoon are placed above the place
the bowl of the spoon facing left, the fork tines facing right.
5. Glassware: No more than four glasses are set on the table, in order of use, for
water, white wine, red wine and champagne, from left to the right. The glasses are
placed above the place plate on the right hand side.
6. Bread and Butter Dish: The bread plate is placed above the place plate on the
left hand side. The butter knife is placed across the top of the plate, handle to
the right, edge of blade toward the user.
7. Salt and Pepper : The salt and pepper are placed above the place plate,
pepper to the left of the salt. Larger salts and peppers to be shared are placed
slightly below the wine glasses and between every two place settings.
DINING UTENSILS
A safe rule in using your utensils is to start with the outside silverware and work in. If for some reason you don’t feel comfortable, observe the host and follow his lead.
NAPKIN:
The napkin has four uses and is the most important item at your place setting.
1. Starts the meal…The napkin is placed in your lap first before picking
up a utensil. If it’s a paper napkin, unfold it completely. A cloth napkin
is folded in half with the fold facing the table.
2. Ends the meal…When the meal is over, place the napkin loosely folded
to the left of your table setting. If the napkin is paper, treat it as if it
were cloth. Never crush it into a wad and throw it in your plate.
3. Wipes your mouth…Touch your napkin lightly to your lips in the shape
of a “V”.
4. Catches crumbs…Also, don’t lick your fingers after they have been in
contact with food.
THE KNIFE:
The knife is held in the right hand with the handle in the palm and the index finger
along the top of the blade.
1. Cut one bite of meat at a time and eat…Never all at once.
2. When not in use, the knife is laid across the top of the plate (never
propped against the edge) with the blade toward you. This is the
American way of dining.
4. Never bring food to the mouth by means of your knife.
THE SPOON:
Spoons are used to eat soup, cereal, some desserts and to stir coffee/tea.
1. The spoon is held at the very end like a pencil. When eating soup,
the movement of the spoon goes away from you. An exception to
this rule is French Onion soup. Because of the cheese coating on
top, the soup spoon cuts into the crust with the spoon coming
toward you.
2. Never leave the soup spoon in the bowl when you have finished. It
belongs on the service plate under the bowl. Don’t leave spoons in
cups or small dishes. Instead, place on the side of the saucer or
service plate.
THE FORK:
Zig Zag…American way of dining.
1. Hold the fork in the right hand like a pencil.
2. To cut food, switch the fork to the left hand and turn it over with
the index finger in the small of its back.
3. After cutting, switch the fork to the right hand to eat.
4. To rest during the meal, your fork is at 4 o’clock on your plate,
and your knife remains at the top of your plate.
5 When finished, your knife and fork should be together across the
center of your plate at 3:15 o’clock , or you may also place them
at 10:20 o’clock.
Continental…Worldwide way of dining, if knives and forks are used.
1. Eat off the back of your fork, and remember to keep your knife
in your right hand while you eat.
2. Rest in a triangle, blade going toward you and close out at
6: 30 o’clock.
3. It is correct to eat the bite with your fork still in the left hand
instead of switching back to the right hand.
4. When dining Continental, both knives and forks are picked up to
eat at the same time and put down to rest at the same time.
GLASSES:
1. No matter how many glasses are at your plate, the water goblet
is always the last on the inside.
2. At a formal dinner, five glasses are the maximum one can have.
3. Like silverware, glasses start from the outside and work in.
BREAD PLATE:
Known as the “trash can” plate on the table. Used for
bread and butter…also fish bones, olive pits…any small item that
needs to be removed from your mouth with your fingers.
BUTTER KNIFE:
Used only to cut the butter…never bread.
HOW TO SERVE WINE
When choosing a wine, the main goal is to accomplish a suitable pairing with the entrée you will be serving at your dinner party. Traditionally, white wines are served with fish, chicken and veal; and, red wines with beef, pasta with red sauce and some fowl. If you are not knowledgeable about wines, consult with someone who is. Generally speaking, there is almost always someone with whom you can consult at a store that specializes in selling wine.
Before serving, always allow wine time to breathe at room temperature. Never pour wine for guests immediately after opening. It is the host’s responsibility to discreetly ensure that the wine is sound and unspoiled. This should be done away from company, and a small amount should be sampled.
Wine glasses are only filled halfway, never to the top of the glass. If more than one wine is to be served during dinner, there should be a glass for each wine. And always serve wine to your guests in clean, spotless glasses!
Serve red wine at room temperature. To allow wine to “breathe”, open the bottle about 30 minutes before you serve it. This permits the air to develop the bouquet and improve the taste of the wine.
Red wine should be served in a wine glass with a bigger bowl to release the bouquet. A red wine glass may be held by the bowl.
Chill white wines no more then two hours before serving them. Fine wines need less time, since too much chilling can hide the complexity of series wines. If you must chill the wine more quickly, the best method is to immerse the bottles in a tub of water and ice cubes up to the neck. It does not help to put the wine in a freezer, and it could be dangerous.
White wines are served in a smaller, narrower wine glass. They should always be held by the stem to avoid warming the wine.
When the meal begins, the host should stand and walk around the table to fill each wine glass. If it’s an informal party, the host can simply fill the glasses of the persons closest to him and ask them to pass the other glasses down. It is the host’s job to offer the wine bottle to a guest with an empty glass and say, “Please help yourself.”
BASIC TABLE MANNERS
1. Put your napkin on your lap as soon as you sit down, unless you are at a formal
dinner party; in which case, you would wait until your hostess puts hers on her
lap. If you need to leave the table during the meal, put your napkin on your chair.
- Sit up straight in your chair, but not stiffly, at a distance from the table that is
best for your personal comfort. Your hands when you are not actually eating,
may lie in your lap; or, you may rest your hands and wrists, but not your entire
forearm, on the edge of the table.
- Study your flatware, and eat from the outside in. And remember that once you
take your silverware off of the table, it should never touch the table again.
- Break bread into bite-size pieces and butter each piece just before you eat it.
Don’t butter the entire slice of bread or the entire roll first. And remember,
your bread plate is on the left side of your dinner plate.
- To eat soup, dip the spoon into the soup, then remove it by going away from
your body, not toward it. Sip the soup off of the side of the spoon, instead of
placing the whole spoon in your mouth.
- Never chew with your mouth open and don’t talk with food in your mouth.
Eat slowly, taking bites only large enough to chew comfortably and quietly.
- Cut meat, fish or chicken one piece at a time, and eat it before cutting another.
8. Do not reach for anything at the table; ask for it to be passed. And when you
are passing food at the table, it should be passed from left to right.
- If there is an implement in a dish, use it instead of your fingers—a pickle or
lemon fork, sugar or ice tongs, nut spoon.
- Place your utensils in the resting position if you are taking a break from your eating, and in the finished position when you have finished.
- A stemmed glass is held by the bowl at dinner.
- Talk to the people sitting closest to you—not up and down the table.
- When you are finished eating, you should not put your napkin on the table until everyone is finished and ready to leave the table.
- Say something nice about the food to your host when you have finished dining.
RESPONSIBIITY OF HOST AND GUEST
HOST
1. Always greet guests at the door.
2. Immediately take jackets/coats. You can hand them to another to
to hang up or put them in a room for coats if your party is large.
3. Take any gifts and follow same procedure as coats.
4. Introduce arriving guests to friends standing in the area.
5. Give directions to food and drinks to your arriving guests.
6. After all guests arrive, host circulates to make sure everyone has
someone to talk to.
7. Assign someone to make sure there is enough food and drinks
for everyone throughout the party.
GUEST
1. Always take a hostess gift if you are going to someone’s home.
2. If it is a large party and your host is not at the door, work your
way through the crowd and say hello to your host.
3. Don’t hesitate to introduce yourself to others, and shake hands when
you meet them.
4. If you are talking to someone and a stranger walks up, introduce
yourself, then the person with whom you are talking.
5. If you spill something, let the host know immediately, and offer to help.
6. If you break something, let the host know. It is your responsibility to pay for the damage.
7. Don’t bring a friend to the party unless you have checked with the host first.
8. Always thank the host before you leave. Don’t just walk out.
